Dance is a brilliant way to become fit, gain flexibility, make friends, achieve goals and simply have a heap of fun learning new skills! The downside is how harsh we can be towards ourselves and consequently, towards others – not just as dancers but as people too. Way too often I hear, ‘I can’t do that’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ and way too often I see negative self-criticism in dance class through body language.
This has to stop! And I mean now! Like, right now. Stop it! No more negative self-criticism. No more beating down on yourself. No more believing you aren’t good enough or can’t do it! It’s time to start learning how to love yourself, appreciate yourself and at times forgive yourself. Let’s take a little look at how we can tackle this task that seems easy, but can be quite challenging.
1. Break the Habit
Negative thinking, thoughts and actions become a habit over time and can be quite sneaky in that tend to pop up randomly as soon as you feel challenged, indifferent or nervous which makes it tricky to nail. So here is a tactic for you:
Stop yourself from complaining about anything at all.
Practice this at school, at home, at dancing and in your own time. Once you stop complaining about what’s going on around you or the situation you’re in, you start opening up a channel for gratitude and appreciation to come in. Here’s a classic Miss Rachel analogy for you, imagine you’re on your way to the beach in the summer for a swim. Thinking negative thoughts is like building a wall right in front of the entrance to the beach therefore stopping you from accessing that amazing ocean of potential that is within you.
Start focussing on stopping yourself from putting the bricks there (aka stop yourself from thinking negatively) so you can have fun learning about who you are and the potential you have got within you. To replace those bricks I encourage you to build yourself a shrine of positivity right about where that brick wall would be. Which brings me to the next part of learning to love yourself.
2. Positive Self Affirmations
Affirmation
[af-er-mey-shuh n]
something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.
If you’re talking negatively towards yourself over time you will start believing it to be true, which is not what you want. Luckily enough the opposite is true as well. If you start talking to yourself positively then you will start believing it too!
I suggest picking one of these affirmations and repeating it to yourself every day for a week and then pick a new one for the week after and so on. Or you can read through all of them every day and which ever one resonates with you is your mantra for the day. Doing this will make that ‘ocean water of potential’ feel refreshing and amazing!
3. Use the Mirror Wisely
In dance we see our reflection in the mirror a lot. The mirror is a fantastic tool to help us dancers correct ourselves technically, learn steps and gain some feedback on ourselves. However, it can also be a dangerous weapon of self-confidence destruction! We often tend to compare ourselves to others through the mirror and actively beat down on ourselves while we are dancing which is essentially the most counterproductive thing you can do to yourself in your journey of life, let alone dance.
So here’s what you do, next time you walk into a dance studio and see the mirror remind yourself that what you see in the mirror is only a fraction of a reflection of who you are, what you can achieve and the potential that lies within you. The mirror’s primary purpose in dance is to help you become a better dancer, so don’t let those negative thoughts fool you in to thinking badly about what you see. If you sense self-negativity coming your way then dismiss it with one of the positive affirmations above.
4. Patience and Respect
I want to elaborate on what I mentioned about comparing ourselves to others in dance (and in life). We are all on our own journey and we all have a different story. Yes, you are in the same class with your same classmates and in that moment it seems that you are all on the same page, but in truth, no one is. We all lead our own lives and what we have in common is dance, so comparing yourself to others is not only unfair on you but it’s unfair on them too.
If someone in your class seems like they are getting the move or progressing in technique doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t. Maybe they have practiced the step before or maybe they are having a good day so, instead turn your negativity in to respect and feel happiness for that person. Trust me you will feel so much better about dance if you appreciate the journey of those around you as oppose to comparing negatively. Your turn will come if you keep focusing on achieving your goals and stay positive towards yourself.
5. Motivate and Support Others
You know that fuzzy warm feeling you get when you get a hug from a loved one or when your friend offers to shout you a hot chocolate when you’re having a bad day? Well, chances are they’re feeling that exact same warm fuzzy feeling as you. The more support, generosity and motivation you give others, the more it will return in your favor plus it makes you feel better about yourself therefore resulting in less negativity towards yourself!
Compliment someone you admire instead of wishing you were them. Learn from those around you rather than thinking that you’re not as worthy as they are. Cheer someone on if they get selected for a solo. And of course, give yourself and those around you the gift of a smile which can be the most uplifting a generous gift of all simply because it sends beautiful rays of positive vibes out to the world.
“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” ―Maya Angelou
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